How about these:
“The moose says you’re closed, I say you’re open.”
“Do you know what the penalty in this state is for cruelty to animals?” “No I don’t” “Well, it’s probably pretty stiff.”
“Well someone better explain or … there’ll be a lot of explaining to do!”
“But what if when you got to Florida it was closed?” “Oh they don’t close Florida.” “Well I know they don’t close the state of Florida.”
“We’ll all have so much f***in’ fun we’ll be singing zippity do da out of our ***holes!”
“This cabin smells.” “Edna, this is yours.”
“Oh that woman? Well she was a pool waitress and I was ordering some food.”
“Do you have Pacman?” “No” “Do you have Space Invaders?” “Nope” “Do you have Asteroids?” “No but my dad does. Some times he can’t even sit on the can.”
“Yeah you didn’t get to meet Dinky last night. He had the *hits so he slept in the barn.” “Oh, great.”
“”I got laid off when they closed that asbestos factory, and now wouldn’t you know it, the government cuts my disability pension because they said the plate in my head wasn’t big enough.”
“You didn’t order the Metallic Pea?” “Metallic Pea??”
“Are you satisified, she’s deaf!” “Oh what’s the difference it was fun anyway.”
“Hey underpants!”
“Don’t just blurt it out about Edna dying.” “I suppose we should ask them to play 20 questions.”
“Did you tell them the good news?” “What good news?” “You’re driving me to Phoenix!” “Phhhllllllt!”
