Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical.

Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.

He hits from both sides of the plate, he’s amphibious.

I never said most of the things I said.

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

Yogi Berra was the best!!!

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case…coincidence?

“I am the Lizard King, I can do anything.” – Jim Morrison.

“There’s no such thing as a one man team.” – Michael Jordan.

“You must be Ringo, look darling, Johnny Ringo… the deadliest pistol there is since Wild Bill they say… should I hate him?” – Val Kilmer as Doc Holiday.

“Just do it.” – Nike

“When written in Chinese, the word crisis is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.” – John F. Kennedy

“When fire and water are at war it is the fire that loses.” – Spanish Proverb.

“The lie is a condition of life.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

“Fiction is the truth inside the lie.” – Stephen King

“It doesn’t matter who the people voted for, they always vote for us.” – Joseph Stalin

“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

“I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?” – John Lennon

“Americans… still believe in an America where anything’s possible – they just don’t think their leaders do.” – Barack Obama

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? “ – George Carlin

“Before I speak, I have something important to say.” – Groucho Marx

“An artist is somebody who produces things that people don’t need to have.” – Andy Warhol

“And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything.” – William Shakespeare

“I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.” – George Burns

“People the world over have always been more impressed by the power of our example, than by the example of our power.” – Bill Clinton

“I always turn to the sports pages first, which records people’s accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man’s failures” – Earl Warren

“I sincerely do not understand people that don’t drink. They have to wake up in the morning and realize that is the best they are going to feel all day.” – Frank Sinatra (I think)

“Wanna find out how hard I can punch?”

-Tallahassee (Woddy Harrelson)
Zombieland

From a movie

Coach: Not much of a crowd tonight.
Assistant: Well at least we have home field advantage.
Coach: The Alamo was home field.

I like it.